Day 96- Merry dayafterChristmas!

I can't believe that 1.) Christmas has come and gone, and 2.) I am 96 days into training. How in the world does time pass so quickly, and where does it all go? 96 days, that's almost 100. Crazy. And with Christmas, I feel like there is so much build up, and I need time to slowly sink into the Christmas spirit and get used to listening to carols on every radio station all day long, and then it just goes in one little 24 hour period. I'm always shell shocked when its over. Absolutely crazy.
And since my lungs have recovered and the ice on the roads has (almost) melted, I am finally back to running normally again. Which is to say, I am back on my training plan. It's been a little hard jumping back in, which is scary to say because I only lost about a week or so. But since the marathon is less than a month away (really, its like 2 weeks away...ahhhhhh!!!), I need to be kicking my own butt into gear. And with that, I would like to write a little bit about obedience, because it's been a theme ever since day 1 in my thoughts and training, and it's time to get it all out there.
Obedience is hard. Not just obedience to authority like your parents or laws or things like that, but even to things like a diet, and to yourself, and to God especially. Before I started this training program, I read a book called "What I am talking about when I talk about running," by an author whose name I forget (I think its like...Haruki Muryakami or something similar). It wasn't such a good book, but it did have a few sentences that have been streaming through my mind ever since I read them. There is an episode where he is talking to an olympic runner, and he asks him if he ever just feels lazy and doesn't feel like running. And the olympian says "yes, i feel like that almost every day." First I felt relieved, because I feel this way every day. And if this guy can make a career out of something he feels this way about, then I can finish a few months of training and a big race. But it really is a salient point, because sometimes, and really most of the time, we just have to do things that we dont feel like doing. That truth applies to everything, from getting out of bed in the morning to eating vegetables to flossing.
But what I'm talking about is more than just obedience for basic maintenance. There are a few days when I really can't wait to get out and run, but most days its an internal struggle, and I mean a fierce one, to get myself to put on my running shoes and go outside. ESPECIALLY when it's cold. I do it anyways, though, because the end of it all is incredible. Its SO hard to see the big picture and sometimes its even impossible, but I just have to. And it's the same way with God. Recently I have been having some struggles with being obedient to God. Even with little things, it's hard to yield. There are different reasons I think: sometimes it's just because I see something I want and I think my way is better than anything God could give (which is ridiculous); other times, I just don't want somebody telling me what to do. In the end, though, it's just the same as running. There is a bigger picture, and sometimes I can see it, but most the time I can't. I've just got to trust that God can see the end from his view and it is BEAUTIFUL. And making each and every single decision to do what is best is an internal struggle (sometimes big, sometimes not so big), but I just need to suck it up and slip on my shoes.
Some people say obedience gets easier, and I agree somewhat, but for the most part, I don't think it does. It's hard every time, and I don't know if there will ever be a point in my life where I will always be happy to submit. But even the saints, the "professionals" if you will, felt that way, so you just gotta do it.